I've read one of my friend's blogs and I was laughing at the same time feeling extremely sorry for her. It is never easy to love someone then lose that person to somebody else in the name of holy matriomony. It would have been nice if that was not the case, but it was. This was something permanent. The vow "'Til death do us part." would apply as permanent.
Thinking about it as I was i the ladies' room, I realized that I was lucky. I am going through the same pain that my friend was but the differences were: one, he doesn't know what I feel towards him or if he does know he doesn't care. Why? Second he is taken. Semi-permanent relationship. Long duration type. Blast!
There was a time I cried myself to sleep because of this man, and I tried to live my life as if he didn't exist but it was never easy.
Then one night I decided to make a resolve to move on with my life without him. Not with him because that would never happen. Besides, as my best friend pointed out so bluntly this afternoon, I did not give my heart, body and soul to him. I never did. I just mourned for my inadequcies as a person and as a woman.
Second resolve is to love myself. Not bordering on selfish love but on a love that empwers me and makes me feel like a person and a woman. I'M A WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!
All I have given him is my friendship, which I am not sure if he has accepted it or not. If he does then that's fine, if he doesn't screw him, at least I tried.
I am moving on with out you sweetie!
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